Sunday, 17 July 2016

Big Month Moment: July 2016

"Someone once told me that women should do two things everyday they love, one thing every week that they treasure, and one bigger thing every month they will never forget." ~ commenter on Modern Mrs. Darcy
I love this idea, and since I only vividly remember the moments chronicled in this log, I am writing down those big things monthly.

I should probably preface all of the upcoming enthusiasm with a fact: this was my first ever big-venue concert.  Unless you count that Weird Al Yankovic concert I went to at the Puyallup Fair in 2004.  I'm not.  (I'm not kidding and I'm not counting it).

After 10 years of talking about going to Ottawa Bluesfest together, we finally did it.  This is the summer of big moments, which is being followed by an aspirational life of big moments.  In short: its time to start checking things off, starting with Bluesfest.

We went to the wrong side of the park and had a to walk all the way around to get to the front gates.  After Shawn asked a security guard -- who was about 6'9" -- for directions, I said "that conversation was sooo over my head."  I thought it was hilarious.  The security guard just looked at me.

I guess we didn't follow the directions very well, because we ended up at an Earl Sweatshirt concert, and we were aiming for The Lumineers.  So we learned a little bit about a Freckled Face, avoided the purple smoke and mosh pits, and -- as a reward for hanging out with 18-year-olds for an hour -- got great spots for the headliner concert.  Like really great, 30 feet-from-the-stage-on-the-middle-security-fence-great spots.

It was amazing: a foot stomping, hand-clamping good time.  And by hand-clapping, I mean high-fiving.  High-fiving Wesley Schultz and Jeremiah Fraites.  Well, mostly I hit Wesley's arm, but I've never been a good aim, so I'm counting it as a high-five (+/- 5%).  Jeremiah and I were perfection -- a hand-on-hand smack -- but I expect that level of accuracy from someone cool enough to wear suspenders for a living.

It rained the whole concert, pouring at times, and I don't think anyone cared.  The band splashed in the puddles, and covered John Fogerty's "Have you ever seen the rain?"  The best part of that bit was the 65-year old guy who had earlier smoked up behind Shawn (I guess tall people make really great screens) went NUTS when they started the cover.  I think its was the best moment of HIS life and I've never been so pleased to be hanging out with a balding pot-smoker.  The joy!

So Bluesfest is checked off the list, my life is changed for the better and I'm looking forward to singing to the tunes of Earl Sweatshirt with my students.  Juuuuust kidding.

Friday, 8 July 2016

Hippos are Heavy


Granby Zoo.  10:30am.

Shawn:  How much do you think one of those weighs?
Nevin:  a HUNDRED pounds!
Shawn:  Nope.  It probably weighs as much as a car.
Nevin:  How much is that?
Shawn:  Like 2000 pounds.
Nevin:  Woooooah.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

Malcolm at the Granby Zoo


About lions:

About spider monkeys:
"Ooo, Oooo." Maniacal giggling. "Ooo, Oooo."

About elephants:
Silence.  But the look on his face said, "That's the biggest dog I've ever seen."

About ducks:
"Quack, quack."

About the Macaw:
"Quack, quack."

About Emus and Lorikeets:
"Quack, quack."

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Mexican cars


Warner van.  Granby, Quebec.  5:45pm.  A VW Beetle drives by.

Scarlett:  Look at that Mexican car.
Shawn:  Why is it Mexican?
Scarlett:  Its a car and its Mexican.  Get it?
Shawn:  No.  I don't get it.
Scarlett:  Its a MEXICAN car.
Shawn:  Ummm....
Scarlett:  Oh. Its not a Mexican car.  Pause.  Its a flower car.

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Malcolm at 18 Months

A random picture from a June day that showcases two of his loves.  Note: he is wearing a mitten in June.

Here is what he loves, in order:
1. Trucks
2. Cleaning up
3. Socks, mittens and hats
4. Red
5. Peek-a-boo
6. Spiderman

Life stops when a truck starts up.
He will dump a bucket just so he can clean up and Heavens-help-you if you try to take something from him, but if you show him where it belongs he gladly gives it up.
There are no colours beyond red on the rainbow (related: he is not colour blind).
I'm pretty sure he loves Spiderman because he is red (refer to #4).
In any case, his quirks are starting to come through.  He has his own ideas of what is exciting and I love that.  Things are starting to get interesting.

Sunday, 29 May 2016

Kale and Names


4:25pm.  Warner family van.

Scarlett:  Hey!  I just realized something!  Kale in my class.  Kale and, um, kale.  And kale is a food!  That must mean he loves kale!  I wish that was my name.
Shawn:  If we could've named you after any type of food, what should we have named you?
Scarlett: Mayonaise.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

A cautionary tale about borrowing trailers

Shawn is making me a raised garden bed.  Sort of: technically, the Kijiji Gods provided Shawn with a cheap raised garden bed, so he is very carefully screwing it back together with eight bolts and putting soil inside it.

It seemed easy enough this morning, when the day was young and full of promise.  Shawn had a plan.  He borrowed his Dad's trailer to pick up the lumber and soil.  Let me tell you one thing: if you see a trailer that is being held together by plywood, find another trailer to borrow.

After Shawn filled Frankentrailer -- herein and henceforth referred to as Frankie -- up with soil, it blew a tire on the way home.  It has a spare, but due to its rust bucket status, the bolt holding the tire snapped and the spare couldn't come off.  He left Frankie on the side of the road and called his dad for reinforcements.  His dad came.  They put a different spare on.  

That's when they heard that special kind of hiss - and realized the spare spare had a hole in it.  The hole was small, so they figured Frankie could make it home. His father towed the trailer behind his car with Shawn following.  Within the first kilometer, Shawn noticed a strong smell of burning rubber.

That's when they realized the frame had snapped and was rubbing on the tire.  That's the way the original tire had blown - it had been shorn by Frankie the Tetanus Breeder.  So they took six ratchet straps and corseted that thing up like a bride on her wedding day.  They started off again - slowly - they were close to home.  

That's when they got stopped by a long train and when the train was done, the entire town of Perth had to follow them to our street going 30 km/hr.  In retrospect, the parade was befitting of the rust bucket: it was Frankie's funeral procession.

And now a moment of silence for Frankie - the little trailer who couldn't.
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