Monday, 28 May 2012

Goddaughter Prayers

Brooke, my Goddaughter, has been in town and, for the first time, is totally in to the whole Goddaughter/Godmother thing.  She's been asking me if I pray for her.

The other night, when we were leaving to go home, she was upset, so I whispered in her ear, "I'm going to pray for you tonight before I go to sleep.  Will you pray for me?"  She was in no mood for talking.  She looked up with her sad little eyes and nodded, "yes." 

The next day, when I saw her I said, "I am so glad you're feeling better.  I prayed for you last night.  Did you remember to pray for me?"

Most six-year-olds, when faced with the truth, would either a) honestly answer "no" or b) obviously lie "oh yes, of course".  This girl was born with the gift of seeing the grey between the black and white, and has the quick-wittedness to use it to her advantage.  She did not pray for me, nor did I expect her to, but without even a pause, here was her response to me:

"I didn't time to say it out loud, but I kept a prayer for you in my heart."  And to drive her point home, after a dramatic pause: "Alllll night long."

She is one of a kind.  She will have the world in the palm of her hands some day.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Happy Mother's Day to me.

I have to say, I loved the gift the kids got me (Under Armor workout pants to replace the eight-year-old, stretched-out-kneed, saggy-bottomed monstrosities that I've been wearing), but I am not a fan of the gift the microbial world gave me. Headache, aches and pains, and fever. I look like a Tylenol commercial before the happy ending. Ugh. Here's to hoping next year will be better (and that Shawn and the kids bring home leftovers from the family turkey dinner that I passed up to lay on the couch).

Friday, 11 May 2012

The First and Final Moments

Tonight, child-number-one is having his very first sleep over.  His cousins are in town and staying at Nana's house, so he is spending the night with his freshly rediscovered very-best-friend cousin.  They are the same age, love the same things, and have totally opposite personalities.  It is a perfect toddler combination, but the perfection of their friendship is not what this post is about - it is merely a side note to explain how the real story came to be.  Nevin's first sleepover.  My little boy is grown up and becoming, slowly, independent.  He's always been sensitive and shy and keenly aware of my presence in the room, so this is a big step for him.  Its his official entrance into boyhood.  I am fully aware that at some point tonight I'll probably get the call to go pick him up, but that is insignificant; he was excited to leave home for the night and leave me.

There have been many firsts in our house this week and it has me a little nostalgic.  Some of them were small -- Nevin flew a kite by himself for the first time today -- and some of them were much bigger -- Scarlett took her first steps.  My children are just that; children, not babies.  I love everything about the stages they are at, especially Nevin's witty comments and twisted vision of the world, but at the same time I'm a little heartsick for who they were.  I miss the old them... mostly because I know I will never have them back.

A few weeks ago, I came across an amazing essay about all the unmarked Final Moments that our children have.  It was about all the times your child does something wondrous for the last time, and the things you would do if only you had known it would never happen again.  Things like, if you had known that it was going to be last time your child wanted you to read them a bedtime story, you would've spent the whole night savoring those last special moments instead of rushing through what you thought was a monotonous routine.  It was by Jonathan Sale, for The Guardian, and if you have a moment and a tissue, I recommend reading it.  He puts these sentiments into words far better than I ever could.

Parenting is dichotomous.  On one side, my children are wonderful, hitting their milestones with familial joy.  On the other side, I can't help but wonder, "how did I come to care for someone so deeply that even when they do everything right, they still make me doleful?"


p.s. Midway through writing this post, I did get the phone call.  Thank Goodness.  My little boy needed to come home for a goodnight kiss and a cuddle.  Maybe neither of us were ready; both of us were pretty content to be all bundled up in his own bed at home.

p.s.s. A picture is coming of the kite experience :)
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