Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Short hair by SashaWarner
Short hair, a photo by SashaWarner on Flickr.

Social media has spoken. I chopped my hair. It's gone. Out with the old and in with the hot new hair trend that started at least two years ago. But lets not forget, I live in Lanark County, so here I'm totally setting the trend. (Unless, you count the disproportionate amount of retirees that live in Perth. They all have short hair. And in that case, I'm like at least 15 years late.)

When I asked Nevin, what I should do, he said I should have hair like him. When I asked the question on Facebook, 100% of respondents (all five of them) said, "yes ma'am, chop it off into a pixie cut." Unless they were confused and said "yes ma'am leave it long," in which case this was an entirely misguided waste of 2 years of growth.

Here's the thing. I have no time. Or at least I'm about to have no time. Next week I return to work and in the mornings I can not picture myself straightening my hair while I pursue the toddler who is unraveling a roll of toilet paper down the hall, telling the pre-schooler to stop chasing the dog with the plastic golf club, and mopping the puddle of piddle that the dog let go accidentally while fearing for its life just before ducking under our bed. Our bed in our carpeted, now pee scented, bedroom in this "fictitious" account. Did you follow all that? Me neither, and that's why I cut my hair. With ultra-short hair, I can waltz into work looking totally put-together -- some might even say sane-looking -- despite the hurricane that will be the Warner house morning non-routine.

My mom - bless her heart - says she thinks it makes me look younger. Works out well for her, because that would make her younger by default. Personally, I'm pretty sure it makes me look like a boy. A cross between the kid that played Kevin Arnold in the Wonder Years and Edward Norton minus his squinty eyes. I used to be the kid with the mushroom cut and crooked glasses, so this is entirely up my alley. Boy is a total improvement. From where I've been anything, as long as it involves mascara and a bra, will always be an improvement.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Monster Mash

Monster Mash by SashaWarner
Monster Mash, a photo by SashaWarner on Flickr.
We made our first only craft of the summer today, since back-to-school is here. Monsters, obviously.

Excuse me while I go tend to the wilting mess that was the blossoming Picasso-esque talent within my children before I became their primary care-giver in June.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Nose Dive!

Baking with my head by SashaWarner
Baking with my head, a photo by SashaWarner on Flickr.
The other day, Scarlett had a little misstep and fell. She was totally fine, but obviously sad about the whole situation. I scooped her up and cheerily said, "Oh, did you take a little nose-dive, sweetie?"

She calmed right down. Nevin looked at me with big blue eyes, very concerned: "But... how... umm... is she gonna be okay?"

Me: "Oh yeah, she's fine. She just hit her head."

Nevin: "But why did her nose die a little bit?"

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Look, Ma, no Salmonella!

Scarlett's first cookie by SashaWarner
Scarlett's first cookie, a photo by SashaWarner on Flickr.
Recently, I've had a little spare time, so I've been going back through the family photo archives. The other night, I was completely mesmorized by the pics of Nevin at Scarlett's age. The two of them look so much alike, but act so different! It really came through in the GAZILLION pictures I have of him.

Which brings me to my next point, like every parent ever, up until about 12 hours ago I was totally neglecting Scarlett in the picture and life experiences department. Not so anymore folks. Today alone I've already taken like ten pictures of her. And I only took two of Nevin, and only because he asked and I didn't want to seem "unfair" or "playing favourites," even though I totally am. I've got some serious guilt to make up for.

Next steps? Baking, baby. Turns out at her age, I had Nevin up on the table, helping me measure and mix all sorts of goodies. There's pictures all over the place of him beside Mommy, being all adorable and stuff. He was baking before he was talking.

So today, we baked. Scarlett had a blast. Unlike Nevin, she preferred to point and tell ME what SHE thought should go in next. Really quite cute, since she can't talk yet. We'll see how I feel about her assertiveness in a couple years.

In any case, we made egg-free chocolate chip cookies. You know, because pictures just aren't as cute when they remind you of that time your toddler got food poisoning. (I know, you were wondering what that title was all about, eh?)

Here's the recipe:

Look Ma, No Salmonella! Cookies
(from here)
1 cup margarine
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/4 cups unbleached flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
Chocolate Chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2.Cream the butter and sugars until creamy. Add the wet ingredients and cream together.
3. Combine the dry ingredients in a mixing bowls. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients.
4. Bake for about 10 minutes.

Tuesday, 7 August 2012


Last weekend, we were invited to a cottage by friends.  Lots o' fun, especially for us non-cottage owners or renters.  Especially after the disaster that was camping.  What a treat.

After a late evening, they got up and made a HUGE delicious breakfast including pancakes, bacon, and sausage.  Lots of berries to, you know, keep things healthy.  While it was all being prepared, Nevin ran through the kitchen, stopped dead in his tracks and said, "What's that smell?"

"That's bacon, Nevin."

"Bacon!?!  Who eats bacon for breakfast?!?  That's silly!"

And at that moment, I realized that the only time he has ever seen bacon is in bits on a salad for dinner.  No wonder he's a picky eater - I've forgotten to sprinkle is little life with bacon.

At the time it struck me funny, as in haha funny.  Then I realized something: what a developed world, middle class story to tell.  I am lucky that I am so well off that my first reaction is to laugh about my child being deprived of bacon.  I wasn't going to post the story, because it didn't seem funny anymore, but then I thought, "I'm going to be looking back at this blog and I need to include this."  Sometimes I need to be taken down a few notches and recognize the material abundance in my life.

Time to take a moment to be thankful.

Friday, 3 August 2012

Camping For Four, Please.

I am sure on this blog it seems as though parenthood is full of sunshine and lollipops. Even when things are a little off, it seems a toddler says something oh-so-adorable that restores the blissful way. Let me assure you this is not the case. Sometimes, my husband is grumpy, sometimes the kids are grumpy, usually I'm grumpy. And sometimes, on those really lovely days, we are all grumpy. You hope on those days that you are hiding in your home, where no one knows that the sunshine is too hot and the lollipops taste like lollipoops.

Not so yesterday. Oh, no. Yesterday at approximately 8pm, at campsite 436 in Bon Echo Provincial Park, it sounded like Scarlett was dying a slow painful death at the hands of a pack of killer bees. Nevin took his cues from her. You could hear Shawn's deep breathing exercises from two sites over. And me, I just wanted a beer and salt and vinegar chips.

We gave up. We saved our fellow campers the agony of listening to the Warner trainwreck and packed up that campsite fast (another great reason to buy a van... ). The good news for them is that after an hour of listening to it, they were not only rewarded with silence, but also with a critter free night, as I'm certain my children scared all the raccoons within a five kilometer radius.

I'm not exaggerating the truth at all when I say both kids were fast asleep by the time we pulled onto the highway. Always the way. Once the kids were asleep, Shawn and I regained our sanity and actually had pretty pleasant ride home, complete with chippies.
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